Pat Tillman is Austin’s premier “girl group”. We support the bravery of one professional football player (Pat Tillman) who decided to make a stand for our rights as Americans to play retro-flavored pop rock. He basically put a gun in the face of every terrorist in the world who would deny us the freedom to sing our sweet American harmonies.

So begins the latest bio for the Carrots, the Austin, Texas girl group that plays retro-flavoured pop-rock in honour of the football-player-turned-soldier. Or maybe they’re actually playing retro-flavoured pop-rock to praise Jesus. Or maybe none of the above; turns out every Carrot bio you’ve read lately is a giant fabrication. But that’s okay, because you don’t actually need to know very much about America’s latest girl-group superweapon to combat the supremacy of the British.

Here are the facts: the Carrots are a six-piece band whose mission in life is to recreate that good ol’ 60’s sound. Unlike the Pipettes, who’ve laced their concoction with a sassy, post-modern wink and nod, and Lucky Soul, who’ve brought some superb studio wizardry and up-to-date pop credentials to the mix, the Carrots really do sound like a relic from the past. Well, aside from the occasionally saucy lyric—I don’t think the Shirelles or the Supremes could get away with saying “ass” in a song. They’re also unsigned, and in the classic tradition of penniless artists flaunting their generosity, the Carrots have put up an entire EP for free download. None of the latest wave of 60s revivalists have really been breaking any new ground, and the Carrots stick closer than most to the old template. This may either earn them your scorn or your adoration, but before you pass judgement, you might as well give their EP a listen. The church-going, Tillman-loving kids in the Carrots may very well win your wallflower heart.