Every holiday should be a slight bit ghoulish, and none more so than Christmas—you need something to cut the overwhelming sweetness, what with all the “peace on earth” and “birth of a holy figure” and “man do I ever love candy canes” and “omg I got a Wii!” Of course, you can go too far; Silent Night, Deadly Night didn’t go over so well in 1984 with its portrait of a serial killer that dressed up as Santa. But there are plenty of ways to add some tang to the holidays without resorting to gruesome violence. Instead, let’s skewer some old-time classics that’ll creep out small children a bit instead of terrorizing them.

Once upon a time, probably a long time ago, someone with some knowledge of audio recording techniques watched an episode of Alvin and the Chipmunks and thought, “oh, that’s just someone’s voice played really fast.” Not long after that, someone else probably got the bright idea to slow down the recording to see what would happen. It turns out it’s not very difficult to recover the original, normal-sounding voices from any Chipmunks recording. Most of these experiments have gone down the memory hole, but now that we have the internet this need never happen again, for the MP3 evidence is available to all. And so I bring you Alvin, Simon and Theodore—the real voices— and a creepy, Jabba-like Dave, singing the classic “Christmas Don’t Be Late.”